by Sir Paul Torres
Over the past few months, I have worked with a few sexual assault survivors. My interest is increased as I step forward as a supporter of the “Me-Too” movement for both men and women. This is an abuse that needs to stop. IF YOU have been abused, here are some supporting behaviors and activities that can help you to find and be yourself again. The good news – it’s possible!
Be proactive with your own well-being. This means that not only can you reach out to professionals to help you (which is a good idea and often a perfect start), but YOU can support your recovery by taking steps towards your personal healing.
(1.) Give yourself supportive thoughts every day. Why? Without being conscious of it, we usually degrade ourselves, becoming our own worst enemy. Without self-approval, healing becomes impossible. We turn to others to approve of us instead…and this becomes a never-ending and fruitless cycle of on-going pain, regret and suspicion. Thus, our problem of self-loathing increases. When we choose to recognize that we ourselves can choose thoughts of self-love, we become more powerful and independent of others. Only then can we truly love ourselves, think and contribute service authentically, and live with an inner freedom…instead of regret. Yes, we are that powerful.
(2.) Choose healthy friends and relationships. Sometimes, we unconsciously select to be with others who are unhealed as well, so we don’t feel so alone or bad about ourselves…but, often these individuals are unaware of negative influences they have upon our judgments and actions. A point to remember…something I see frequently is that when we are wounded, we want to feel loved and safe. So, we reach out to someone close to us. If they are wounded also, what we say to them can be misinterpreted and they may respond to us with anger, not safety…the emotion that we are looking for. This is time FOR YOU to remember that all anger is another mask for fear. They are afraid of something. When we identify our fears, we are one step closer to healing. Can you identify YOUR fears? If so, you can begin to accept and eliminate them…but, you have to have the courage to look; and to let go of judgment of the fear. (The ego doesn’t want you to identify your fear because it tells you that it will hurt.) But it’s the opposite – it heals. When you do this, you get to see that it’s simply not that big a deal. Really, it isn’t.
(3.) Take time for yourself developing healthy activities as well as thoughts. Read some good books on this subject. Get in some outdoor time. Consciously appreciate nature, and beauty. Give someone else who needs it some love, appreciation and acceptance. You will feel better for it and so will they.
(4.) You can start by healing yourself through self-love. It has to start from within. Only you can change who you are and how you feel about yourself. Don’t worry about what others think or have done. Come up with a plan that fits who you are and what is best for you. How we react to so called ‘negative situations’ defines who we are. Choose awareness of being with all that is or follow your ego. It’s up to you.
You will soon see that you can support your healing by taking charge of your thoughts, which helps heal your emotions…and then heal your choices. Good choices build a happy healthy life! This is a beginning. If you wish to receive a healing from me around this subject, call to schedule an appointment.